" THAT CRAZY GEEK GIRL WHO IS THE KINDRED SPIRIT THAT I LURVE SO MUCH...IN SLOW MO~ "
- twistedlupin, on authoressarktos

As the above quote suggests, I am a crazed, fandom-obsessed fangirl with extremely awesome friends. To begin...I'm not special. I'm not unique. I'm actually pretty darned boring, and I like it that way. If you're still up for reading this after realizing that, then go right ahead. ;D I'm conservative by nature, interested in religion (specifically Christianity), spirituality, philosophy, etc...except that's really only part of my personality. It's probably the one you'll notice first though. XD

( Cut for craziness! )

FRIENDING POLICY!
I'm up for being friended anytime! However, expect raised eyebrows if you don't comment/PM why, especially if it seems like we don't have anything in common at all.

RANDOM COMMENTS!
If you feel like dropping me a line, just comment to this post :P

JUST A NOTE
My journal doesn't usually go over a G-PGish rating (I'm not a fan of bad language), but I would advise any really young kids not to poke around much further.

...Did I ever mentioned I'm really into like...a ton of video games now? Current obsession is the Devil May Cry series as I think I mentioned before, which is so much fun. Such ridiculous characters. *shakes head* Nice to finally give this stuff a try, though.

Anyways, on more important notes, I'm trying to come up with a better name for my new account. It's hard to think of anything though, especially since I'm not really sure if it should be fandom-oriented/casual/meaningful/whatever pops into my mind. I'll get back to you guys on that, though.

On the (not-so) brightside, my best friend's going to drag me out to New Moon tomorrow. Lord help me and all the fangirls present. I'm not concerned about slipping up and letting them know I'm only there for the cheese and general WTFery, but I'm worried my laughter might hurt their feelings. I may not like it, but I don't want to ruin anyone else's experience. >>'

...But it suddenly occurred to me that there was an obvious solution to my weird not-updating phase: switch journals.

I feel like such a different person now than I was when I joined LJ (almost exactly three years ago, as of next Sunday), that I just want to start over again, y'know? A clean slate.

But I was thinking...would anyone be willing to refriend me if I did do something like that? I'll probably leave this journal up, naturally, but I wouldn't update it anymore. I know my life is hardly exciting, but that 'shift in priorities' I mentioned before means it might be more interesting than the RL stuff I have here.

So yeah, just throwing that out there.

So...

I'm sitting here, wondering when I got so out of touch with LJ and stuff in general. It seems like as my life has gotten waaaaaaaaaay better than the trainwreck it was before, I've lost the inspiration to post or generally even comment more than once a blue moon. Thing is, I don't want to leave, and I don't get the feeling I should either. I'm just adjusting to having a life outside my computer, and wishing I could keep in touch with you guys a bit more (even though not doing that has cured my carpal tunnel completely).

I think part of the reason is a shift in priorities, a sense of a nonexistent, flexible checklist or something of things I should/could/would/might do. And it's exciting, it really is, feeling happy and self-confident and accepting that even if I can't do some things, I can still manage to make an awesome go of it in the meantime.

Problem is, my fanfiction/roleplaying/keeping up with things in general has just slowed right down. And now that I'm almost out of my teenage years, I want to start ACTING like an adult...almost half a lifetime ago I stumbled across my first fandom, and even if this fun ride won't last forever, living in the moment without worrying about the future or the past has made me realize how important my friends are.

Even if I haven't talked to you in a while, even if I may seem awkward or hard to converse with, I remember you guys and I appreciate you all. And I just can't express how amazing this whole experience has been. I hope you guys feel the same, but even if you don't, it was real and it was awesome. I may even go back and delete entries, just because my life has been far cooler than this journal shows...and that's a shame, because what's the internet for if not fun? ;)

I'm nineteen now! Yay! =D

My computer went completely nuts, and it was a challenge just keeping up with my roleplay stuff for a while there. I never really left, I'm just not gone now :3

Also, should have a new post for Why Fear the Reaper up soon, since I've done a ton of brainstorming on it lately.

I'm still alive. I just have nothing much to talk about this year. Hmm. :(

I've been thinking I should do something more with this journal as opposed to ranting about RL and whatnot. I guess I've just passed through my emo teenager phase (well, for the most part) so it'd be nice to get back to fanfiction and stuff. Problem is, everytime I write it comes out weird...I find myself starting and then stopping stuff. It's confusing.

Well, Arktos out for now.

Wryyyy do I have so little energyyyy....

So, a couple family members have spontaneously decided to visit us. All on the same weekend. With little to no warning WHEN exactly they're coming. Fun.

I'm back and ready to rock and roll, internet! And half a month early at that, for real this time! Which means Arktos has some writing to do, fics to update, roleplays to join and people to catch up with~ >D

Possibly also rehaul my tags into something less boring, but eh, that can wait!

Also, continuing my bizarre foray into the world of video games I'm now hooked on Devil May Cry. SAVE ME SOMEBODY BEFORE I BLOW ALL MY MONEY ON THIS JUNK! PLEASE? *cries*

I know a couple of you have birthdays coming up, so here's me again! I'm still trying to lick this carpal tunnel, but I'll be back before October starts, I assure you. :P I miss all of you guys too much to stay away long!

So...I know I haven't been around much this past summer, but in my defense I HAVE been busy with work and my carpal tunnel is still healing up. I was actually going to scroll through my f-list and respond to a couple of posts for a change, but...now I'm sick. In more ways than one, but yeah. I'm minutes away from taking my fourth nap today, after having what basically amounts to what SHOULD have been my dinner last night just now, as my first meal of the day.

So yeah, my life has been kind of crazy lately :P It doesn't help that I have a pretty bad crush on one of my co-workers because he randomly came up and talked to me during training week (which, for the record, was almost TWO months ago). But that's mushy stuff, and until I can get myself to speak to him again there's really not much to say about the whole thing anyways. Except I'm praying I don't get paired up with him next week, because that would be embarrassing.

Also, it sucks. Although all my co-workers are distilled awesome, so it's not as painful as it could be. And I have money! Yay! Not to mention some fun memories/pictures to look back on. ^_^

Have I mentioned I hate fanfiction.net? Because I do. I really do.

Delete my reviews and PMs three times over, will you? BURN IN HELL YOU DAMNED SERVER ERROR!

I've been in such a good mood lately. I mean...I know I haven't been around much, but working at camp is really the best thing that could have happened to me. I'm having so much fun, and learning so much, and actually being USEFUL...it's a great feeling. It feels like I'm slowly clawing my way back to not-being-depressed, and it's definitely about time!

Again, I'm sorry about not checking in, but I've just been so busy...don't worry nicotan, I'll get back to you ASAP. And twistedlupin? I'll probably be on MSN a lot this week. So...yeah. Since I have a whole year stretching ahead of me that (while not stressless) looks to be the most enjoyable and informative one I've had in a long time...I'm pretty freaking happy right now.

I love you guys!

*ahem* ^^

(I'm also up for writing pretty much anything now, so keep your eyes open for some interesting fanfic in the future!)

Just really busy lately. And tired. I haven't forgot you guys, I just need a time out from the internet in general to focus on important RL stuff :(

I recently decided to review almost every single thing I read...which means I leave a lot of constructive criticism. I guess I finally made someone mad, and they blocked me. Which is a shame, because I was actually going to leave a more positive review for the better sequel. Irony. ^^'

At least a lot of the people I do review actually e-mail back and straighten me out when I'm wrong, or ask for advice. There's one writer who, despite my admittedly scathing review, actually said she wanted me to continue to do so she can improve. Which is great, because she has potential. I don't think I'd be that gracious, even if I do love constructive criticism.

But yeah, kinda bummed. Because I really didn't mean anything by it, I was just trying to help. D: I only review the stories that look good, and there's a surprising amount of those. Problem is, most people are unaware of even the basic writing mechanics...which doesn't surprise me much after suffering through school. I only learned because I studied hard, and I still have a lot left to go before I can consider myself anything more than an amateur.

So that's my rant. As you can tell, my carpal tunnel is nearly gone! Yay!

I'm better now, and a lot happier. I wish I could say more, but I've been incredibly busy these last few days. Just thought I'd check in.

A few perscripted anti-depressant pills and and incredibly less painful amount of carpal tunnel later, and I think I'm starting to do okay. Still not sleeping well, but eh, I'll deal with that later.

Saw the Star Trek movie yesterday. Was worth missing dinner for. Tempted to look up the fandom, but I know I'd probably regret it if I did. Longest-running scifi television series after Doctor Who, and God knows I didn't even manage to get halfway through that within the span of a year before I gave up.

So yeah. I'm doing okay now, I guess. Better than I was by far.

I'm just...really stressed out right now. I'll see you all later once I get a handle on things.

So, I'm not graduating. Did I fail a course? No, at least not to my knowledge. Did I not do enough credits? Nope, I did two extra actually. Arktos, are you going to cut to the chase and tell us already WHY you can't pass? Gladly! Y'see, for those of you who haven't been on my friends-list for long, I did this co-op roughly...two years ago. This co-op was HELL, and not because of the (awesome) workplace in the least. No, it was because I had the most damn spiteful guidance teacher I've ever met in my life, who not only enjoyed toying with me and reducing me to tears (no, seriously, she did) but royally messing everything up until the very last minute...in which case she let the school fuck with my records instead. To give some perspective on this, my extremely polite and professional late forties-something boss called her, and I quote, a 'grade-A bitch'.

Now, this school sucks to begin with. It's not even my actual school, just another one I have to work through because my main one is 'special' so to speak. This incompent school almost gave me a diploma in French (which I barely passed and had dropped by my second year) and nearly graduated me as another girl with the same first name living out in Quebec. This continued until well after graduation, when I got frantic calls to come pick up my gown and join the ceremony. In fact, it took a full year to resolve, and I made damn sure it was resolved I can tell you that.

But that isn't good enough. Oh no, not at all. Pshaw, why let some stupid bookworm like me graduate with an 83%? Much better to try 68%! Oh wait, even better, how about 44%! I wish I could say I was joking, but no, I had a perfectly good mark gradually drop down into a failure over the course of the year without being notified. A failure that's going to drastically alter my mid to early 80s average. And now they're determined to use their own fucked-up record keeping against me, if you'll pardon my (apparently fluent?) French. And it's all thanks to my wonderful guidance teacher, who couldn't and still can't be arsed to do anything but screw me over.

So yeah. I'm damned, and there's no way I'm fixing this before next fall, if I manage it by then. As it is, I'm going to have to go pretty high up the hierachy to fix this cock-up. Thank God I hadn't planned on post-secondary for quite a while, because I wouldn't have been able to do that and my family might have taken a huge financial hit from the lost money invested into it. How these people ever passed high school themselves is the question I'd like an answer to, but barring that I'd like to have my life go right for once. Is it any wonder I'm in the worst physical and mental shape of my life with this crap going on all the time? I think not.